Lollipop Cock ~ Doc Johnston Classic 8 Inch Vac-U-Lock Dildo

I mentioned in my review of the Doc Johnston Vac-U-Lock harness that I'd get back to the juicy details of my sexy Mister Potato-Head's accessories, and, while I'm slow as fuck, I'm not a liar.  So here we go: Doc Johnston's Classic 8 Inch Vac-U-Lock Dildo.

poke poke!

Myself and the fella were looking for something simple as a starter set, but that was quality enough to not need us to go buying new ones after the first session. The decision process was not helped by my indecisiveness over the whole realistic issue: we were both keen on it being 'my cock', but many of the supposedly realistic ones are rather, well, pruney! Having settled on a no-balls version, this was pretty much the only decent option, and thus the decision-making was escaped yet again. I was still not sold on it, mainly due to the pink-a-rama head on it, but another review mentioned that it wasn't quite so hideously coloured as the picture shows, so we decided to give it a shot.

The dildo is indeed a lot less hideous in the (almost) flesh. It's not exactly true to life, but I don't get the feeling of there being some kind of Rudolf nose on the end of it. The veins are quite pronounced, as is the head, but while the textures are quite noticeable, the squidginess of it means it's not not going to rip out someone who's a little sensitive. I do think it'd be a bit much for someone who prefers slimline toys, but myself and the boy can take it in any of our three cumulative holes without a problem, so it isn't exactly size-queen land. And, despite the swollen head and engorged veins, it's the same girth all the way down the shaft, so taking a couple of inches or the whole thing makes little difference, making the length not quite so intimidating.

Boob's-Eye View

Who Love Short-Shorts?

Me!  As long as there's a cock either in or on them.  And lookie here!  The lovely folks at RodeoH have made just what every little girl wants: panties you can attach a dong to in the blink of an eye.  I cannot begin to describe just how much I need these in my life.

Lucky for us pervs-on-a-budget, Toys in Love has snaffled some free frillies to fight over.  I'll go get the mud, you girls start stripping: this is going to get messy before it ends!

New Cock on the Block: Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Leather Ultra Harness 3000

I've always been a big fan of being on the receiving end of anal play, but having not had a partner comfortable enough to turn things about, I was exceptionally interested when my new partner mentioned he'd had a little experience in being pegged. However, being the kind of person who over thinks what they'll put in a sandwich, I was big on examining every aspect before trying anything. I'm sure he must have been so sick of me looking at the minutia of every possible harness and dildo combination, but he bore me well, bless him. The main deciding factor in the end for us was that we both adore leather, and with the higher end leather harnesses out of our budget range, we were limited to this and a handful of o-ring style harnesses, all of which looked a little on the cheap side. I was concerned about being limited to the Vac-U-Lock range of dildos, seeing as they are rather limited, but when we found two options we were both happy with, we decided to go for this rather than shell out for something that seemed uncomfortable or just looked a bit tatty.



Packaging

I must say, I'm impressed by Doc Johnson's packaging style. All too often, the more kinkier items either come in rather graphic and cringe-worthy boxes, or in horrifically wasteful packaging that seems to take the 'so large and excessive no one could ever guess' style of discretion. We found a small cardboard (recyclable, yay!) box in muted yellow tones, with a picture of the product - devoid of porny model - on the front, and a another on the back as a diagram listing the various features. Would be obvious within seconds to any nosey type who picked it up, but it doesn't scream SEX TOY!! across the room. Very tasteful. Inside, there was a small plastic bag containing the attachment plug, a very thoughtful leaflet depicting the various dildos and accessories for the harness, the harness itself folded neatly, and a leather extension strap to allow it to accommodate a wider range of sizes. All neat and well thought through, with minimal waste, very impressive.

 

The Practicalities 

Vac-U-Lock Leather Ultra Harness 3000

First thing we had to do was attach the plug to the harness. It's only four poppers, but they are perfectly sized, so the final popper can be rather stiff. Once the harness had seen some action, I could manage it with minimal fuss, but the first time, the fella had to step in and do the manly thing. After that, sizing it is a simple enough process. There's three basic buckles: one on each hip, and one at the back where the thong meets the waistband. The extension strap could be added at any of these points if needed. I could reach all the buckles easily while wearing it myself, and they're very well designed, all rounded edges, small and secure, but easy to open and work with. The speed control holster slips freely along when pushed, so that can be positioned either as needed, or wherever it won't get in the way. I've not used it, but aside from giving it a whoosh about when putting the harness on, I forget it's even there, so there's no concerns with it irritating you. A little lube in the 'socket' of your dildo of choice makes them a breeze to get on and off. I did once struggle a little when I managed to trap an air pocket in one so it didn't want to secure properly, but it was easy sorted, and other than that they literally do just pop on and off like a rather more fun Mister Potato Head. Yet I've not once felt one slip even a smidge, so they definitely are locked securely in place.